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You loved our funniest tweets about marriage so much, we had to share some more. All marriages are different but what is the same in every single marriage, is the need for a good laugh. Here are even more funny tweets about marriage to make you laugh and spark up a conversation between you and your spouse, no matter how long you’ve been together.
If you love it and can relate to it, share it with a friend!
I’ve reached the point in my marriage that my husband fell asleep on the couch and OMG I AM SO EXCITED I GET THE BED ALL TO MYSELF. @parkerlawyer
Don’t marry someone before you see them step on a Lego. @theshamingofjay
Fun fact: You will marry the LOUDEST sneezer on the planet. Which doesn’t seem possible since I am already married to that person, but trust me on this. @nottheworstmom
What my husband doesn’t realize that a lot of our arguments could be solved by shoving a cookie in my face. @mom_tho
When boxes arrive from Amazon I just tell my husband they’re Christmas presents for him and he doesn’t ask questions. I should probably buy him something soon. @sixfootcandy
Made it to that level of marriage where you get in trouble for being able to fall asleep so fast. @simoncholland
Sent my husband nudes and he asked me which mole I was worried about. @lmegordon
Marriage is having separate tubes of toothpaste because your spouse squeezes it wrong. @mom_tho
The look in my wife’s eyes when she left for Target makes me think she is going to try and save the economy in one trip. @simoncholland
My wife hates snakes. But if they sold snakes at Target, we’d probably have a few snakes. @cheeseboy22
The secret to a lasting marriage is knowing no one else would put up with your bullshit. @ixix82
Establish dominance in your household by staring at your husband while you unplug his phone from the charger and plug in your own. @lhlodder
Before marrying someone, listen long and hard to the sounds of their chewing because that’s the soundtrack to the rest of your life. @lizerreal
Marrying someone is easy. Staying married after going to IKEA on a Saturday with an empty stomach, is not. @maryfairybobrry
The key to a happy marriage is understanding each other’s love languages. My language is words of affirmation. My wife’s is doughnuts. @xplodingunicorn
Which one of these tweets about marriage is your favorite? Looking for more laughs? Don’t forget to check out our funny quotes about love. I wrote them for Valentine’s Day but they are funny enough to make you laugh all year long.