I’m Not Broken, But I’m Definitely Glitching

Image

This post may contain affiliate links. Read the full disclosure here.

Share with a friend!

Every time I talk openly about my anxiety, I get the same response, from so many people.

You’re not broken.

They’re right. I’m not broken. It’s not that I can’t be fixed. It’s not that I can’t overcome my anxiety. It’s not that there is no hope and I should just be thrown out like the pieces of my favorite porcelain mug that I accidentally dropped. I can be put back together and there’s a great possibility that I will one day return to my former, non-anxiety-filled self.

I’m not broken, but I’m definitely glitching.

definition of the word glitch

I can’t wake up, get myself ready for the day and get things done, without some sort of malfunction. Anxiety has been a constant disruption in my daily life, for years now.

Some days it’s the inability to stop working long enough for a little self-care. Other days, my anxiety level is so high, I have to lay down or cry, or a combination of the two. Then, there are the days when I have errands to run, but have to continuously tell myself that I won’t have a panic attack while we’re on our way to the store, inside of the store, or on the way home from the store.

I’m not broken, but I’m definitely not ok.

My mind’s first reaction to just about any invitation, experience or opportunity is fear. Pure fear. Fear that I’ll have a panic attack in front of people. Fear that they will talk about me. Fear that they will stare. Fear that my kids will witness it. Fear of how far our car will be from wherever we are and whether or not I can get back to it quickly, if I need to. Fear of waiting on a line that might be one minute too long and I’ll have to walk out of the store, because the anticipation of the anxiety attack has already overcome me and I know I can’t come back from that.

I know I’m not broken, but sometimes I don’t believe it.

Every morning, I tell myself that this is not permanent. Nothing in life is. Tomorrow will be better. I will overcome something big today and celebrate my victories, no matter how small. With each victory, every obstacle ahead will seem easier and easier. I don’t have to settle for what anxiety has brought into my days.

I’m not broken. I’m just glitching and glitches can be fixed.

When a computer glitches, we restart or reset it. I just need to restart myself, clear my memory of the thoughts and feelings that seem to be the root of the problem. If I can get rid of whatever combination of factors that created the glitch in the first place, I can restore myself to the time when I didn’t have a care in the world.

But what are they? How do I find them and more importantly, how do I drag them to the trash?

My faith is bigger than my anxiety.

I have faith that one day, those obstacles won’t be an issue anymore.

Fear won’t be an issue anymore.

Anxiety won’t be an issue anymore.

I refuse to believe that anxiety will cause a total system failure. I have too much life left to live. Too much to see. Too many places I want to travel to. Too much to say to too many others like me who are reading this and know exactly what I’m feeling.

We may be glitching, but we aren’t broken.

THIS GLITCH IS ONLY TEMPORARY.

Anxiety hasn't broken me, but I'm definitely glitching. I'm a mother, living with a panic disorder and this is my story.

Share with a friend!

Image

Hello There!

I'm so honored that you've found us! I'm Heather, a Mom of 3 who blogs about parenting, food, occasional travel and how I overcame my daily struggle with anxiety. I miss sleeping and rely on coffee and laughter to get me through the day. I hope you enjoy and visit often!

Leave a Reply


  1. I don’t know…I definitely feel like I’m broken. I’m not sure I’ll ever go back to being the real me again.

    1. Post
      Author

      Denise, you are not broken. And as many times as I felt like I was, I know I’m not either. We can fix it. We just have to stop accepting our circumstances and get back to work on us.

  2. I can really relate. Things happen and we have to learn to deal with it; it isn’t our fault. That is just life!

  3. I love the idea that it is a glitch. In my entire adult life, I felt broken and only the last year have I started to piece together that I am not indeed broken. After trauma, I just had to put myself together that most people and I function differently.

  4. I think we all have our problems, so you don’t have to feel like you’re alone. Everything is ok and it will be better!

  5. Some people don’t understand how much anxiety can affect someone. Keep on having faith that you will overcome these obstacles.

  6. I love that you said your faith is bigger than your anxiety and that one day these obstacles won’t be an issue anymore. Anxiety can be so debilitating. I love that you look at it as glitching rather than as being broken.

  7. We are not broken but are a work in progress. We all have imperfections that can get in the way of our daily life

  8. Sometimes when I’m going through a tough time, I think I’m broken. I like the idea of it being a glitch better than being broken.

  9. I love the way you look at it. Its honestly so relatable. My anxiety can get bad and the way some people talk it makes you feel broken even if you arent

  10. Anxiety can really complicate your life, but recognizing you have it – it´s the first step for a change! At the end, it´s all about overcoming difficulties and becoming a better version of yourself!

  11. You’re not broken! There are always different views and different ways to react! Loved reading your post!

  12. Anxiety can be such a bur. Especially if you’re open and honest about it. People treat you differently. Tough stuff.

  13. It’s easy to say that we need to be optimistic but really hard when you are on that situation. I am glitchy too, but glad we are not broken.

    1. Post
      Author
  14. I hope we learn from all the glitches in life. It’s always a learning lesson. Let’s be optimistic and hope for the best. We are broken but we will be healed.

  15. I feel a little glitchy myself, lately. School is out and we are trying to settle into a routine, but we are all out of sorts. I have lost my motivation and I want to relax but there’s a lot to get done too..

  16. Yes, everything is temporary. If you are experiencing or having problems or troubles at the moment, know that it shall pass.

  17. I can totally relate to all of this: the sleepless nights, the mornings where I wake up and I am just getting anxious over everything… those horrible butterflies in my stomach. Thank you for sharing your perspective and reminding us that we’re not alone.

    1. Post
      Author

      Lisa, I’m so sorry that you also have those same issues. I hope that the more we all talk about it, the easier it will be to fight it and get back to our old selves!

  18. The word “glitch” is perfect. I wish for people who have anxiety will read this, and know that there is hope for them. No one will ever be perfect.

  19. Your use of the word “glitch” is spot on! I know many people who fit this definition, but feel that there’s no hope to being “fixed”. I’ll have to share this with them, because they would identify with your post!

    1. Post
      Author
  20. I can really relate to that. When my anxiety gets really bad I have the same feelings. But I have not had those feeling for years so I know that those feelings actually can go away. You dont have to live like forever it and it can be cured.

    1. Post
      Author
  21. I love this! You made me realize a lot of things! Very motivating!! Thank you so much!

  22. Nnniiiccceeeeeee….I love the fact that you are hopeful for a better tomorrow! That’s a huge movement in a much happier direction.

    1. Post
      Author
  23. I empathize. Life is not easy. Stress comes in various shapes and forms. Even a good stressor can be difficult to accept and act on. I found that CBT really helped my anxiety.

    1. Post
      Author
    1. Post
      Author
  24. I don’t personally struggle with anxiety in the way you do, but I appreciate you sharing your experience so I can be more empathetic to those who do.

  25. I love the word you’re using in this situation. Speaking out loud about anxiety and acknowledging its presence in yourself are some of the powerful things in self-healing.
    It also allows others to draw the same strength and support.

    1. Post
      Author
  26. What some call broken, I call my uniqueness. There are no perfect people, we all just have different needs.

    1. Post
      Author
  27. See I know I am broken that is why I NEED Jesus. At some point we are all broken. Anxiety can over power us if we allow it. It’s hard I know, I think we all experience it.

  28. I love that you call it a glitch. That is a great term for it. I struggle with anxiety and it has been hard to come to grips with things I don’t feel in control of. Yet sometimes I can be absolutely fine. Thank you for this great read! <3

    1. Post
      Author

      Control… that is the key word. My anxiety is worse when I don’t feel like I’m in control of the situation. I’m so sorry that you are also dealing with anxiety!

  29. I struggle with anxiety too. Love the thought that it’s just a glitch and we can reset, instead of being something that we have to live it forever!

  30. Yes. Anxiety is uncomfortable. My daughter suffers from it and I didn’t realize it until she started college. I feel that talking about helps. You explained it in such a great way. I hope and know that this glitch is temporary.

  31. Anxiety has plagued me for my entire life. I used to throw up as a kid when my mom was 2 minutes late, I used to be sick before exams, and all sorts of other times. I spend many days nauseous for no particular reason. And this is when I am medicated!!!

    1. Post
      Author

      I’m so sorry, Susan! My anxiety didn’t show up until I was an adult. I can’t imagine having to go through that as a child. Have things gotten any better?

  32. I affirm to the universe that your glitch will soon be over, and you will be feeling nothing but joy, freedom and wellness. For you, anxiety is a thing of the past!

    1. Post
      Author
  33. It is so hard to put into words what your are feeling and thinking but add anxiety to that and it becomes a whole other ball game. I love how you explained this. I completely understood every word you wrote! <3

  34. I can relate to this. I know it’s a mindset thing for me, and it’s hard to reprogram/reset my brain. But I won’t let anxiety define me and force myself to do things outside of my comfort zone, one small step at a time.

    1. Post
      Author
  35. I think we all have glitches and need to reset ourselves. I think selfcare is always a great way to over a time like this.

    1. Post
      Author
  36. This can be tough. I know I get anxiety at times. Social anxiety, for one. I am an introvert, so I panic when I know I”ll be with groups of people. Also, I can’t drive on a highway without freaking out. I’m working on it!

    1. Post
      Author
  37. Anxiety is so huge and the hard thing is that no one can see it. Good for you for speaking out about this.

  38. I love that you share your story and struggles with us. It’s a refreshing breath of fresh air. Thank you so much for sharing your journey with us. So many out there need to know that they’re not alone.

  39. I get you. I felt this way after being at home alone with my younger two kids for a few years. It took a bit not to feel a bit of anxiety when doing things on my own.

    1. Post
      Author

      Do you think that it was because you spent so much time at home? I often wonder if working from home for the last 10 years has contributed to it for me.

  40. I am nodding along with it all. I have gotten so bad that I seldom leave my house and leave my poor husband to do the grocery shopping, laundry or whatever. If I do leave the house I can only do it with him. I hate living like this and I’m working to reboot myself as well (love that analogy). I start therapy on Wednesday for the very first time.

    1. Post
      Author

      I am exactly the same way! I’m happy to hear that others are going through the same thing, but also so sad that others are going through the same thing. I did try therapy and am considering going back again. I hope it gives you what you need to get back to life.

  41. It sounds like you are extremely honest about what you’re going through and that is always a first good step to whatever goal you have in mind for yourself. Always be honest with yourself and I think you will get far.

  42. It sounds like you have a good handle on it, though and you’ve learned to live with the anxiety. I know it’s hard, but hang in there.