Parenting is tough. While we get to watch these beautiful human beings grow up, we also have to deal with a lack of sleep and answering 42343092 questions a day, about things we don’t even know the answer too. So whether you’re a Mom or a Dad, whether your kids are babies or grown, we can all use a laugh. I scoured the internet and social media for some things to make you smile. Here are my top 20 funny parenting quotes. Make sure to share them with a friend!
If you’ve never said “You need to back up a little so I can wipe myself,” do you even have kids?
Some days I have it totally together and others I find toast I made 3 days ago still sitting in the toaster oven.
As a parent, my hobbies include repeating myself, rage waiting, and repeating myself.
Not all who wander are lost. Some are Moms, in Target, filling their carts with a bunch of things they didn’t even need.
I was so cute when I thought I was tired back before I had kids. So cute.
Me: Could you please stop asking me the same question over and over?!
Also Me: Do you have to go to the bathroom? Did you go to the bathroom? Did you use the bathroom yet? Are you using the bathroom?
“We don’t wear what we slept in out in public.” -Me, lying to my child.
How to Make Iced Coffee: Have kids, make coffee, forget you made coffee. Voila! Iced coffee.
Hi, my daughter will be late to school because she can zip her jacket by herself.
You know you’ve grown a lot as a parent when you watch your kid lick something in public and think, “Eh. He’s licked worse.”
Sleeping with a toddler is like sharing a bed with a drunk octopus who is looking for his car keys.
Kids: talking through the best part of the song since the dawn of time.
Mom, I have a paper cut. Cool. You were 9 pounds at birth.
Parenting is yelling, “You just had a snack!” over and over until you give in and throw them another snack.
You can kegel it up until the cows come home if you want, you’re still going to pee when you sneeze, Brenda.
Me: Always be honest. Also Me: If anyone at the zoo asks, you’re 2 years old, ok?
We don’t eat things we find in the couch,”.. is, apparently, something I say now.
Ok, kids, listen carefully because I’m only going to say this 175,276 more times.
How to stay on top of the laundry when you have 2 or more kids: 1. You can’t 2. Find a new dream
I just taught my kids about taxes by eating 38% of their ice cream.
via Conan O’Brien
Which of these funny parenting quotes are your favorite? And which one can you relate to the most? Comment below and let us know! Don’t forget to check out our 20 funny quotes about love.
These are funny and boy can I relate. I need some things on repeat to press a button and have it play because my kids do not listen to me.
These are awesome and so true! Sometimes I can’t believe the things I find myself saying to my kids!
As a parent of 5, I can relate to these quotes. I like the coffee one the best.
The me wiping myself and the one about kids licking things. YEP – those quotes hit home the most for me, hahahahaha!
OMG, these are the best. THE BEST! The toast thing is a true story for me. LOL
Ahahaha. These are all so funny. I’m not a mom yet, but I know that my mom would definitely agree with most of these, especially the rage waiting.
Oh my! All of these funny parenting quotes make my day. They are so true!