My job as an influencer and content creator forces me to be on social media on a pretty regular basis. I’m often scrolling my feed, looking at beautiful people with beautiful homes, who always appear to have the perfect lives. I know that most people only show their highlight reel on social media, but it doesn’t change the fact that I often feel like I’ll never be good enough. When you think of an influencer, my face isn’t the first thing to pop into your head. You think of a beautiful, thin, model-like girl who is living her best life. And I’m sorry to say, I will never be that girl.
She’s beautiful.
She’s got it all together.
She has long, flowing hair and big, bright eyes.
She doesn’t need makeup because she’s stunning without it.
Her skin is flawless.
She has a smile that can light up the room.
Her nails are always perfectly manicured.
She has the body everyone aspires to have.
She rarely exercises and eats whatever she wants, without gaining a pound.
She’s fun to be around and is often the center of attention wherever she goes.
She is invited to every party and often throws parties of her own where everyone hopes to be on the guest list.
She has a large group of friends.
She is approachable and loved instantly.
People stop and stare whenever she walks into a room.
She has a big, close-knit family that all love each other unconditionally.
She has a beautiful home that belongs in a magazine.
Her closet is filled with all the latest fashions, in sample sizes.
She can wear anything and look great.
She never takes a bad photo.
She always knows the right thing to say.
She lives her life to the fullest and never has regrets.
She travels all over the world and stays in the best hotels.
I will never be that girl.
So who am I?
I’m a 40-something year old Mom of three.
I have beautiful blue eyes.
I dye my hair to cover the gray.
I tend to choose my clothing based on comfort and not style.
I’m a hard worker.
I’m a dreamer.
I’m a planner.
I am sensitive.
I need to feel in control.
I believe that most people have good intentions.
I put myself last because I put my family first.
I surround myself with good people.
I only open up to people I trust.
Fear stops me from doing things, but I’m working on that.
I’m what you would call a Netflix-a-h0lic.
I love to laugh and to make others laugh.
I’m not a fan of getting my picture taken.
I love to help others.
I’m a leader.
I am always trying to improve myself.
And finally, I have a love/hate relationship with social media.
I think so many of us get stuck in this “appearance” we have to keep up. But being real is so much better than trying to keep up with a lie. What I’m seeing more and more these days are people working hard to fit the mold. They think you have to look a certain way, dress a certain way, have a certain number of followers or get a certain number of likes on social media. The truth is, you don’t have to be any of these things, except real and true to yourself. Ultimately, it’s up to you to decide who you want to be.
I love this! I’ll never be that girl either. It’s easy as a woman to get stuck in the comparison trap. It’s so important to be authentic.
I’m a 40-something year old Mom of three, as well. I don’t cover my gray but I’m sure thinking about it. Love your message and needed to hear it today.
that photo of you with the apple is GORGEOUS!!! i am excited to start following your newsletter and social media as @thejoyousliving. I think your feed will be worth reading and I might write a similar post if you don’t mind a copy cat.
Joy
ps don’t ever let anyone change you!
Author
Hi Joy! Welcome! I’m excited to have you here. This picture is not me. It’s “that girl” that I’m speaking about in my post. 😉
Since most of what we see and read online is not real, I try not to let it bother me. The girl who seems like she might have it altogether could be depressed, starving, or in debt.
Author
You are very right Amy! It’s hard to remember that no one is perfect.
Thank you for writing this. I’m in the same boat job-wise, and I’m having a hard time coming out of my shell in my own blogs because I’m a 5’2 plus size girl with a scar below her chin. Thank you for the reminder that people want the real.
Author
It’s hard but not impossible. We can do this!
Very well said. I too will never be that girl and she is impossible to live up to.
At the end of the day we all have to learn to accept ourselves and learn to do our best. I think you must be because your blog is great!
Author
That means so much Liz. Thank you!