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Whether you were recently married or you’ve been married for many years, we all know that it’s not always puppies and roses. We all have those days where we just need a laugh to get us through the day. I found the best tweets about marriage to make you smile and maybe even spark up a conversation between you and your spouse.
If you love it and can relate to it, share it with a friend!
Married Sexting: I’m not wearing any underwear… because you never put the laundry in the dryer like I asked you to 100 flipping times. @cjohnsonking5
Sorry. I was late because I had to find all the things that were in plain sight for my husband. @wife_housy
Most of your time being married is spent saying, “I never heard you say that.” @sarcasticmommy4
When my wife asks me to do the one thing in the bedroom that she really likes, she’s talking about vacuuming. @simoncholland
Marriage teaches you a lot about yourself. For instance, I’ve learned that I don’t need to use so many paper towels, and they’re expensive. @pjtlynch
When I awoke from the car accident in a full-body cast, my wife was right at my bedside to let me know that childbirth is still more painful. @kentwgraham
Marriage is just texting each other “Do we need anything from the grocery store?” a bunch of times until one of you dies. @danielrcarrillo
Before I got married I didn’t even know there was a wrong way to put the milk back in the fridge. @iwearaonesie
Husband got excited thinking I was touching myself under the covers but I was actually just opening a Kit Kat I didn’t want to share. @valeegrrl
Stages of a relationship: I like you. I love you. WHY ARE YOU BREATHING SO LOUD? @mommajessiec
Dating: Can’t wait to see you again. Marriage: Part of your knee was on my side of the bed again last night. @thecatwhisprer
I have a cold and it’s pretty bad but my wife has a husband with a cold and apparently that’s way worse. @simoncholland
In 34 years on this planet, I’ve learned one very important lesson that I’m going to pass on to you fellas. She can eat your fries. You can not eat her fries. @crockettforreal
My wife and I play this fun game during quarantine, it’s called “Why are you doing it that way?” and there are no winners. @ericspiegelman
Marriage, because you need to know you were folding a bag of chips wrong your entire life. @social_mime
Which one of these tweets about marriage is your favorite? Looking for more laughs? Don’t forget to check out our funny quotes about love. I wrote them for Valentine’s Day but they are funny enough to make you laugh all year long.