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Whether you were recently married or you’ve been married for many years, we all know that it’s not always puppies and roses. We all have those days where we just need a laugh to get us through the day. I found the best tweets about marriage to make you smile and maybe even spark up a conversation between you and your spouse.
If you love it and can relate to it, share it with a friend!
Married Sexting: I’m not wearing any underwear… because you never put the laundry in the dryer like I asked you to 100 flipping times. @cjohnsonking5
Sorry. I was late because I had to find all the things that were in plain sight for my husband. @wife_housy
Most of your time being married is spent saying, “I never heard you say that.” @sarcasticmommy4
When my wife asks me to do the one thing in the bedroom that she really likes, she’s talking about vacuuming. @simoncholland
Marriage teaches you a lot about yourself. For instance, I’ve learned that I don’t need to use so many paper towels, and they’re expensive. @pjtlynch
When I awoke from the car accident in a full-body cast, my wife was right at my bedside to let me know that childbirth is still more painful. @kentwgraham
Marriage is just texting each other “Do we need anything from the grocery store?” a bunch of times until one of you dies. @danielrcarrillo
Before I got married I didn’t even know there was a wrong way to put the milk back in the fridge. @iwearaonesie
Husband got excited thinking I was touching myself under the covers but I was actually just opening a Kit Kat I didn’t want to share. @valeegrrl
Stages of a relationship: I like you. I love you. WHY ARE YOU BREATHING SO LOUD? @mommajessiec
Dating: Can’t wait to see you again. Marriage: Part of your knee was on my side of the bed again last night. @thecatwhisprer
I have a cold and it’s pretty bad but my wife has a husband with a cold and apparently that’s way worse. @simoncholland
In 34 years on this planet, I’ve learned one very important lesson that I’m going to pass on to you fellas. She can eat your fries. You can not eat her fries. @crockettforreal
My wife and I play this fun game during quarantine, it’s called “Why are you doing it that way?” and there are no winners. @ericspiegelman
Marriage, because you need to know you were folding a bag of chips wrong your entire life. @social_mime
Which one of these tweets about marriage is your favorite? Looking for more laughs? Don’t forget to check out our funny quotes about love. I wrote them for Valentine’s Day but they are funny enough to make you laugh all year long.
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Anosa Malanga
February 25, 2021Reading this makes me think if I will be posting this too. Haha! Can’t relate yet but who knows, sooner or later I am posting this too. Haha
Neha
February 24, 2021These are really some funny tweets you have here! I can relate to my husband cant find stuff that lies right in front of him!
khoingn
February 24, 2021Haha, your post makes my day less boring. I’m gonna show this to my wife. Thanks for the post!
Swathi
February 24, 2021These not only funny tweets but also close to reality too. Marriage is not always walking through roses.
Marysa
February 23, 2021Marriage is definitely an adventure. These are funny and capture a lot of those crazy moments.
Mama Maggie's Kitchen
February 23, 2021These funny tweets made me laugh so hard! I am so glad to have bumped into this post. I needed it!
Melissa Cushing
February 23, 2021Oh my goodness…. I truly enjoyed so many of these witty tweets 🙂 I can say that I totally relate to several of them LOL
Emman Damian
February 23, 2021I just needed this compilation! It was so funny! I read all of it. I even shared to my group. Hahahaha!
Beth
February 23, 2021These are all great, after 30 plus years of marriage, I think my husband and I can relate to all of them.
Sara
February 23, 2021People on Twitter are so funny! Thank you for rounding up some funny marriage tweets. Definitely had a good laugh 😆
Tisha
February 23, 2021These are great!!! I’ll be sharing some of these with my married friends!
Sharon
February 23, 2021These are all so hilarious! The “I never heard you say that.” is spot on for anyone who has been married for any amount of time.
Emily Fata
February 23, 2021These are hilarious, and definitely mostly relatable! I loved reading through them, haha
Emily
February 23, 2021I could see the kit kat one happening in our house. I prefer to sneak it. I don’t know why. Candy tastes better that way.
Nyxie
February 23, 2021I can relate to so many of these. The last one is definitely my husband!!! He can be so annoying.
Janeane M Davis
February 23, 2021I have been married 30 years and can attest to the accuracy of many of these tweets.
Yeah Lifestyle
February 23, 2021Been married for nearly 15 years now, so this did make me laugh. Thank you for sharing this
Lynndee
February 23, 2021Too funny! And we definitely can relate to some of these. I will have to share this with the hubs.
Wanda Lopez
February 23, 2021I have to say I laughed so much with a few of them. Like, tears in my eyes laughing.
Jenn
February 23, 2021These are so hilarious. I’m hysterically laughing at some of these. Will share with my husband lol
Catherine
February 23, 2021These are all so true and relatable! Thanks for the laugh 🙂
Lyanna Soria
February 23, 2021Those are all hilarious tweets and loved reading them. Thanks for sharing this and had a good laugh.
Elizabeth O
February 23, 2021I love this collection! These are seriously some of the funniest tweets I’ve seen in a while.
Ryan Escat
February 23, 2021Haha married couples would definitely laugh upon reading these jokes. I could relate to some of it.
Nikki Wayne
February 23, 2021Haha these are so funny haha. I’m gonna share this with my married friends.
Ntensibe Edgar
February 23, 2021Hihi….Daniel R. Carillo’s message about marriage really did it for me! Thank you for sharing.
Catalina
February 23, 2021OMG! I had a lot of fun reading these! And all these tweets are so right. I am impressed, I haven’t even realized it till now!
Chef Dennis
February 23, 2021These funny tweets really made my day haha! Thank you for spreading joy. I will let my wife read this.
Knashz
February 23, 2021I’m not married but these are still pretty funny!
Erin
February 23, 2021I think they are so true. I could not stop laughing!
Cynthia
February 22, 2021These are hilarious! I’ve been married for 32 years and can totally relate to lots of these!
Kathy
February 22, 2021These are all so funny. I love them! I’m so glad you shared them. I had a good laugh.
Jamie H
February 22, 2021Hahaha, I was laughing out loud at these! They are so true! I can’t wait to share them with my husband!
Tasheena
February 22, 2021These tweets are so true. Omg, I can’t stop laughing.
Amy
February 22, 2021Exactly what I needed, a good laugh! Having been stuck at home with my hubby in the last year sure has its challenges albeit nice to have him home at the same time. These tweet are so true and funny! Saving them so I can send them to him whenever the same situation occurs. Laundry one going out now!
Kuntala
February 22, 2021OMG, these are so funny. They’re the best thing I’ve seen all week. The. Best!
Brianne
February 22, 2021Was I tweeting in my sleep? Because every one of these is my life. Every. Single. One.
Tara Pittman
February 22, 2021The Kitkat one was awesome. These tweets are so true and funny
Bryan
February 22, 2021Lots of funny stuff here! And we can all relate to some or all of them
Amber Myers
February 22, 2021These are all hilarious. And relatable. The bed one is true for sure–it’s why we had to get a King!
MELANIE EDJOURIAN
February 22, 2021You’ve got some good ones there. The plain sight one is typical of my husband. I don’t get why he can’t find things under his nose, it isn’t that big lol.
melissa chaoman
February 22, 2021Very cute and I have been there on both sides of the disagreements. Marriage is hard but when you are with the right person like I am it is sweeter.
Crystal Carder
February 22, 2021These are all so true! I needed this laugh today.
GiGi Eats
February 22, 2021DEFINITELY sending a few of these to my husband latet today! hahaahahah!
Ladena
February 22, 2021These are hilarious! Just what I needed this morning to start the week.