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Hey Siri, Where Can I Find Some Confidence?

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Hey Siri… You’ve been so helpful with so much in my daily life and I’m hoping you can help me with something I’m struggling with.

Remember that time I wanted to find a vegan restaurant? You showed me a map with at least 2, just miles from my house.

And then there was that time that I wanted to know where I had seen that actress before. You gave me a list of movies she was in.

Well, this request is a little different. It’s something that lots of women around the world are probably struggling with as well. Especially those who deal with anxiety, like I do.

Hey Siri, where can I find some confidence?

confidence, siri, confidence builder, lacking confidence, anxiety, depression, mental health, lack of confidence, motherhood, mom

I went from buying clothes that showed off my body to wearing the a t-shirt and yoga pants every day. Comfortable is the new fashionable, isn’t it? I need something to cover this post baby bod. I know it’s been almost 7 years, but I’m still working on it.

I read somewhere that makeup can make you feel beautiful. So, I bought a bunch of makeup. I used it once, but I wound up wiping it off because I think it makes me look like I’m trying too hard. What’s that saying, you can put lipstick on a pig, but it’s still a pig…

I finally built up the courage to get my hair professionally cut, after 7 years. It didn’t make me feel confident, like everyone said it would. I straightened and curled it twice and it’s been in a Mom bun ever since. $45 down the drain.

They say exercise gets those endorphins going and that if I get back to my pre-baby weight, I’ll get my confidence back. But when I start exercising, and my heart starts beating fast, I feel like I’m about to have a panic attack, so I stop.

I tried affirmations. Every morning I woke up, looked in the mirror and told myself:

I am beautiful.
I am intelligent.
I am loved.
I am needed.
I can do anything I put my mind to.

Then, I changed into my t-shirt and yoga pants, put my hair into a Mom bun, and came up with 100 excuses why I couldn’t exercise.

So you see, Siri, I need your help.  Where can I find some confidence?

Siri, you've been so helpful with so many things in my life. But this one is a little different. Siri, where can I find some confidence?

Is there an app I can download?
Directions to the confidence store you can map out?
A recipe for a green smoothie with a boost of certainty?

I’m not looking for an easy fix, I know that people with self-confidence work hard at it. I’m just searching for a way back to myself.

To the me that used to think I could change the world.
To the me that enjoyed self-care.
To the me that loved fashion.
To the me that always had a smile on my face.
To the me that loved myself.
To the me that was excited about the future.
To the me that was going to be the perfect role model for my daughters.

Siri? Hello?

Ok, maybe I’ll ask Alexa.

 

 

 

XOXO
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45 Comments
  • Elizabeth O
    July 4, 2019

    I hear you and appreciate your candor. Honestly, even those who claim to never lack confidence do have moments of doubt. They are just not reflective enough like you are to recognize it. Confidence is part bravado and part bs. You put on your best smile, fronting all the rest, and somewhere along the line, both meet.
    The bravest people I know are often the ones who admit to moments of doubt. The clueless just barrel on, running from challenges, doubts included. You are brave to share this, and therein lies the beauty of contemplation.
    We all need to stop awhile and think. Confidence is not the terrain of the chirpy, flyaway dolts who can’t stand the heat when the going gets tough. It’s the terrain of those who stop to take a closer look, admit that life is tough, and are willing to meet her along that path. Keep your chin up! 🙂

    • Heather
      July 4, 2019

      You are so wise Elizabeth. I never thought of it that way, but you are right!

  • Lyanna Soria
    July 1, 2019

    It would be great if Alexa or Siri could answer this things for us. Even I myself had troubles with my self confidence before.

  • Lyanna Soria
    July 1, 2019

    I believe these things start from within you. Slowly but surely even if it’s baby steps.

  • Crystal // Dreams, etc.
    June 30, 2019

    Confidence is such a hard thing to find sometimes. Too bad Siri wasn’t able to help.l

  • Emman Damian
    June 30, 2019

    I wish Siri or Alexa can help. But to be honest, it all starts from within. I lost my confidence few years back and I’m starting to regain it again. I know that it will be back. What I did was to compete with myself. I started to love myself more and just build on my confidence.

  • Marysa
    June 30, 2019

    Confidence can be a tough thing. We really need to believe in ourselves, but so often people are working against us.

  • Anna
    June 30, 2019

    I know what you mean. I´m a mom of two and I was lucky to get back in shape fast (well…lucky is not the right word lol – both of my babies would wake up every 2h day and night till 6 months – so my weight loss was kind of a side effect of this lifestyle lol) But I´m still not in the best shape I´ve ever been (and maybe will never be) – and it takes time to adjust and learn to love the new you!

  • Ray
    June 30, 2019

    As others have mentioned, this is linked to a deeper question of self-integrity. We always have the chance to do and act according to what we believe, versus what others think, but it’s not that easy. Many times, we are not taught how to “think” in the most conducive way. Hence, it’s up to us to take control and do it ourselves, which I believe we can do and reclaim our personal power.

  • rika
    June 30, 2019

    Very tough questions! I wish SIRI could help, that would be wonderful!

  • Lavern Moore
    June 30, 2019

    This is so cute—asking Siri for confidence! It would be awesome if Siri were a genie that could grant our wishes.

  • Rachel
    June 29, 2019

    I am working on all of this. I had to make a gradual change. It was too shocking to do it all at once.

  • Melanie
    June 29, 2019

    It’s a struggle for me, as well. Sometimes I am confident but others I am not. I wished it came more naturally.

  • Rosey
    June 29, 2019

    I had my last baby when I was a lot older than my first (I have four ages 32-11). Getting that baby weight off for the last one was HARD. I ended up walking every day for an hour or so for about 5 months and I dropped all of it. It was awesome. Now I’m not walking so much and I guess weight is going to be a challenge if I’m not careful. Seems like it doesn’t want to go anywhere once it pops up, I’m guessing that has something to do with age, but I’m not positive. Dear Siri, where can I find my 20-year-old body. I’ll even settle for my 35 year old body, lolol!

  • Ruth I
    June 29, 2019

    Ahh, the struggle! I am not a mom yet but I feel like the same. I need my confidence booster and learn how to socialize again.

  • Marina
    June 29, 2019

    It is so sad that so many young girls and not only them aren’t confident. When I was young I wasn’t that insicure, don’t really know what’s happening but I believe that socials are responsible…

  • Terri Steffes
    June 29, 2019

    When it comes to my daughter, I can style her to the nines. But when it comes to me, not so much!

  • Lynndee
    June 29, 2019

    I believe I wasn’t that confident about myself back when I was a teenager, but that was it. I am totally confident now. I believe embracing one’s self is the key to self-confidence. We are all unique in our own special way. 🙂

  • Celebrate Woman Today
    June 29, 2019

    This question resonates with many of us. While we are looking for an answer that will work for each of us individually, what will work for all is the support we can give and extend for each other.

  • Wendy Polisi
    June 29, 2019

    Unfortunately, confidence has to reside inside you because it can’t be found anywhere else. We have to learn how fake the world is in their perfection and realize that WE are the perfection.

  • Thena
    June 29, 2019

    Really enjoyed this post. It’s amazing how our lives and thoughts change and we start to doubt. <3

  • Maggie
    June 29, 2019

    I really feel like it comes and goes with different times and periods in your life and with different people in your life. I can remember times of complete clarity with moving forward and what I was doing and then times where I just felt like I floundered

  • Ntensibe Edgar Michael
    June 29, 2019

    Aaaahhhhhh….what won’t we do without technology? Personally, I don’t use Siri that much but when I do, it’s usually very helpful.

  • Catalina
    June 29, 2019

    To find some confidence it’s not easy but it’s possible! You need more time for your self.

  • Sherry
    June 29, 2019

    I can totally relate to this. When it comes to my personal appearance I’m not that confident at all. I focus on the negatives way too much.

  • Theresa
    June 28, 2019

    I wish it was as easy as Siri having those answers for us. I’ve struggled with low confidence all my life, but I am finding that the older I get, the more accepting I am of myself, flaws and all.

  • Kathy
    June 28, 2019

    I can actually really relate to this. I struggle sometimes too. I don’t have the best confidence at all.

  • Keikilani
    June 28, 2019

    I would love it if Siri would help with those questions. I think more of us feel the exact way as you. Huge hugs

  • cait
    June 28, 2019

    yes yes yes i def needed to read this today bc my confidence has been down like crazy- i talk to friends, go on a walk or just give myself some positive affirmation words. you got this lady!

  • Viktoria Altman
    June 28, 2019

    My heart is breaking for you. I know its a struggle to feel confident sometimes. A lot of this is internal, but I do have a practical suggestion. For exercise have you tried walking? It’s my favorite excersise, and everyone can do it. It’s easy on your joints and your heart and if you can walk in nature its like meditation. It really helps a lot both with physical and mental health. I hope you feel better soon!

    • Heather
      June 28, 2019

      Hi Viktoria! Actually, I used to LOVE walking. I would wake up very early and walk a mile or two before I went to work. This was probably 12 years ago. I would love to get back there.

  • Jamie H
    June 28, 2019

    Ugh, I totally feel your pain on this one! I feel like having kids lowered my confidence a lot. Not just because they completely changed my body, but because I started to question myself on everything with them. Is this really the best curriculum to use with them? Am I screwing them up? The list goes on and on. I look forward to the day in the future when I stop caring what others think of me!

  • Liz Mays
    June 28, 2019

    I think this is something everyone can relate to at one point or another. I have days when I feel very self-assured and day when I’m doubting myself constantly.

  • Denay DeGuzman
    June 28, 2019

    It’s so important to accept who we are. Just remember that everyone else is so focused on themselves, they are not noticing any imperfections that you perceive about yourself. A perk of getting older is that we really start caring a lot less about what others think. We start loving ourselves more, embrace all the perfect imperfections, and open a wider door to more joy in our lives.

  • Valerie
    June 28, 2019

    Wouldn’t it be great if we could actually get real help from Siri on things that matter like this! I have struggled with confidence issues for most of my life, it seems there’s no easy solution I’ve found.

  • Becky Willis
    June 28, 2019

    I am sad to read your post. I have struggled throughout my life with self-confidence. I am not sure if it is that I turned 50 in January or if I just don’t care anymore. LIke don’t care what others might think but my mental outlook has changed. Don’t waste whatever time you have between your age now and my age, even if you have just 1 thing to feel better about yourself at a time. I believe you will be happier and enjoy your life more.

    • Heather
      June 28, 2019

      Thanks Becky! I’m not too far from you in age. Here’s hoping I can get there like you have.

  • Brandy Caldwell
    June 28, 2019

    I’m so sorry you’re going through this. I did as well. I read a book called The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle that really helped with my anxiety. That and a gratitude journal has really helped a ton. It’s harder to feel sorry for yourself when list all the great things that you do have. Hope that helps!

  • Bill Sweeney
    June 28, 2019

    I think this is a real open and honest question for a lot of people. I think we tend to focus more on how we feel society thinks we should be, rather than focusing on “Here I am society! This is who I am!”

    • Heather
      June 28, 2019

      Bill, you are 100% correct!

  • Amber Myers
    June 28, 2019

    I wish Siri could help! For the most part I have confidence, but there are some areas where I need work.

  • GiGi Eats
    June 28, 2019

    This actually makes me rather sad. I have never struggled with confidence issues, and I know I am insanely blessed that I never have. I guess it’s because I just have NEVER cared what other people think. I always look at the positive side of things and I do what I can for myself that makes me feel good about who I am. I don’t focus on any flaws that I might have, and even if I have “flaws” I see them as quirks that make me unique!

    • Heather
      June 28, 2019

      I love the way you think! I wish it came that easy for me.

  • Alli Smith
    June 28, 2019

    If only we could ask Siri! Affirmations and prayer actually do help me build up my confidence. It’s so weird that we can be confident in some areas and not so much in others. This is a great post!

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