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You loved our funniest tweets about marriage so much, we had to share some more. All marriages are different but what is the same in every single marriage, is the need for a good laugh. Here are even more funny tweets about marriage to make you laugh and spark up a conversation between you and your spouse, no matter how long you’ve been together.
If you love it and can relate to it, share it with a friend!
I’ve reached the point in my marriage that my husband fell asleep on the couch and OMG I AM SO EXCITED I GET THE BED ALL TO MYSELF. @parkerlawyer
Don’t marry someone before you see them step on a Lego. @theshamingofjay
Fun fact: You will marry the LOUDEST sneezer on the planet. Which doesn’t seem possible since I am already married to that person, but trust me on this. @nottheworstmom
What my husband doesn’t realize that a lot of our arguments could be solved by shoving a cookie in my face. @mom_tho
When boxes arrive from Amazon I just tell my husband they’re Christmas presents for him and he doesn’t ask questions. I should probably buy him something soon. @sixfootcandy
Made it to that level of marriage where you get in trouble for being able to fall asleep so fast. @simoncholland
Sent my husband nudes and he asked me which mole I was worried about. @lmegordon
Marriage is having separate tubes of toothpaste because your spouse squeezes it wrong. @mom_tho
The look in my wife’s eyes when she left for Target makes me think she is going to try and save the economy in one trip. @simoncholland
My wife hates snakes. But if they sold snakes at Target, we’d probably have a few snakes. @cheeseboy22
The secret to a lasting marriage is knowing no one else would put up with your bullshit. @ixix82
Establish dominance in your household by staring at your husband while you unplug his phone from the charger and plug in your own. @lhlodder
Before marrying someone, listen long and hard to the sounds of their chewing because that’s the soundtrack to the rest of your life. @lizerreal
Marrying someone is easy. Staying married after going to IKEA on a Saturday with an empty stomach, is not. @maryfairybobrry
The key to a happy marriage is understanding each other’s love languages. My language is words of affirmation. My wife’s is doughnuts. @xplodingunicorn
Which one of these tweets about marriage is your favorite? Looking for more laughs? Don’t forget to check out our funny quotes about love. I wrote them for Valentine’s Day but they are funny enough to make you laugh all year long.
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I’ve had a good laugh by reading these funny marriage tweets. I’m glad to have discovered this post.
These had me rolling! the cookie one is 100% me.
These are very funny tweets about marriage. Some of them are exact in my situation.
Thanks for sharing! I will show it to my wife.
This just goes to show that if you’re going to be married you have to have a sense of humor. Some of these are pretty funny
Pretty much 100% of these are true lol. Especially the legos. My daughter is the one that leaves hers out around the house and omg they hurt
I need a good laugh today and I found these tweets are really fun! Thanks for sharing.
Squeezing the toothpaste tube wrong is one of my pet peeves and I am glad they have something about that. That shows me I am not the only one.
This article gives me a laugh i can relate so much. The amazon packages was LOL i always told my husband this is for free review sorta just to avoid too many question.
Haha! These tweets are so funny 😄 I will have to share these with my sisters and husband, they’d love these for sure 🙈😂
Love this post and these graphics are so up my alley… as I can relate to so many of them! I love it when I get the bed to myself… or should I say TV to myself LOL 🙂
We all need a good laugh every once in a while and these funny tweets really gave me a good mood!
LOL. These have me laughing so hard. They are so true!
Ha! these are hilarious tweets about the married life. They are all very true lol
Those are all wonderful and funny selection of marriage tweets. I had quite the fun reading them.
Stepping on a LEGO is never ever fun, lol. Funny and relateable about the couch. 🙂
Hahaha! These are some seriously funny tweets lol!!! I need to share these with some of my married friends.
Seeing the one you love step on a lego is a different type of hurt and concern. I will never understand how stepping on a tiny little thing such as a lego could end up being so painful.
Haha the way someone chew really matters to me haha. These are some funny tweets 😂
I think most of us can relate! These are funny things that definitely have some truths!
These are all so funny and pretty much very true, after 16 years of marriage I can relate
I love these tweets, the world’s loudest sneezer is unfortunately, ME!
These are funny tweets. I was entertained by these. Thanks for the laugh.
This is hilarious. I’m entertained thank you for sharing the laugh. I’m inspired to other qoutes.
I love these pictures / quotes. It’s so funny! I will send it to my married friends. They will definitely laugh for sure.
This made me laugh as well and I can’t decide which post is fumier, thank you for sharing it and putting a smile on my face
Here in the UK, we have a book shop that has all quotes on the wall, so fab and funny to read.
I love these tweets and always make me smile because most speak the honest truth that only married people can appreciate fully.
These are great marriage tweets. The toothpaste one is funny. Never thought to have separate ones.
HAHA!! These are great and really so true!
Thank you for sharing, I totally needed this laugh today. I thought my hubby was the loudest sneezer on the planet LOL!
Very cute. The Amazon one made me laugh!
I think it is funny how universal some jokes and truths about marriage can be. What a strange life we lead!
wow! It’s so fun to read them! They made my day!
Haha! All these tweets are funny indeed. Gotta love the doughnuts most of all.
These are so silly. Thanks for sharing, they gave me a giggle. It reminds me of my aunt and uncle, they really have these kinds of issues at times haha.
Lol these are too funny. Thanks for sharing .
OMG, the Lego post is GOLD! You never really know a person until you see their foot attacked by a plastic block of pain and suffering. LOL
Oh my gosh, these are amazing. And true!
Haha these are tweets are so hilarious 😂
These are all hilarious! I enjoyed reading them and I swear this made my day! Thank you, lol.
Hahah they are all so funny! But I laughed at the couch joke the most, it’s so relatable.
I really enjoy reading these tweets about marriage and I can relate to some of them. LOL!
These funny tweets are making me laugh! It really made my day. We all need to have a good laugh once in a while.
These are cute and fun quotes about marriage, and this one makes me laugh ” The key to a happy marriage is understanding each other’s love languages. My language is words of affirmation. My wife’s is doughnuts.” hahahah!
What would we do without memes? These were hilarious. I especially love and can relate to the Target ones.
These are cute. My fave is the one about the cookie, lol
These are all so relatable. They are funny because they’re true!
Haha I love jokes about Target, so funny😆😆 especially the snakes joke.
I really love all these. Many of these are so funny. I love that Amazon one haha. I get so many packages all the time because of my job.
There are some cool tweets. And they do carry a valuable message.
Lol, These are so funny. Thanks so much for sharing.
These are absolutely hilarious! Love that we can laugh about our marriage and try not to take it too seriously. I think all couples should try and put an IKEA thing together. If you can survive that without killing each other, you’re good. LOL
Thanks so much for these! I really needed a good laugh!
LOL, some of those are hilarious. Yet the part about being fed to solve arguments…probably true.
Author
It’s definitely true for me lol
These are so good. I like the couch one as getting the bed to myself would be awesome.
OMG, ALL of these hit home so hard! Ikea on an empty stomach… The bed to myself…
This are really funny tweets! I’m not even married, and they’re making me laugh.
These are all hilarious. I totally get the Target one. My husband knows I LOVE Target. He says I’m more excited to go to Target than spend time with him. Which isn’t TRUE. Unless they have a lot of new stuff out 😉
Cookies really are the best way to make anything better. These are great tweets!
LOVE!!!! These are so funny… and I am married to the loudest sneezer on the planet..lo
Some really funny tweets there, “No one would put up with your bullshit” that phrase got me laughing out loud.
Ahahaha this made my day! Everything is so funny, but so true. I get so upset when my spouse falls asleep before me it’s the weirdest thing.
I can relate to most of these! Thanks for the Monday morning laugh, I so needed this!
Bwahahaha. These are awesome. I’m going to try the cookie thing the next time my wife is angry.
Author
I’m going to need to know how that turns out. lol
I just died with the Lego one and the Sleep one those are crucial in my life lol