More Funny Tweets About Marriage

more funny tweets about marriage

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You loved our funniest tweets about marriage so much, we had to share some more. All marriages are different but what is the same in every single marriage, is the need for a good laugh. Here are even more funny tweets about marriage to make you laugh and spark up a conversation between you and your spouse, no matter how long you’ve been together.

If you love it and can relate to it, share it with a friend! 

I’ve reached the point in my marriage that my husband fell asleep on the couch and OMG I AM SO EXCITED I GET THE BED ALL TO MYSELF.

I’ve reached the point in my marriage that my husband fell asleep on the couch and OMG I AM SO EXCITED I GET THE BED ALL TO MYSELF. @parkerlawyer

Don't marry someone before you see them step on a Lego.

Don’t marry someone before you see them step on a Lego. @theshamingofjay

Fun fact: You will marry the LOUDEST sneezer on the planet. Which doesn’t seem possible since I am already married to that person, but trust me on this.

Fun fact: You will marry the LOUDEST sneezer on the planet. Which doesn’t seem possible since I am already married to that person, but trust me on this. @nottheworstmom

What my husband doesn’t realize that a lot of our arguments could be solved by shoving a cookie in my face.

What my husband doesn’t realize that a lot of our arguments could be solved by shoving a cookie in my face. @mom_tho

When boxes arrive from Amazon I just tell my husband they’re Christmas presents for him and he doesn’t ask questions. I should probably buy him something soon.

When boxes arrive from Amazon I just tell my husband they’re Christmas presents for him and he doesn’t ask questions. I should probably buy him something soon. @sixfootcandy

Made it to that level of marriage where you get in trouble for being able to fall asleep so fast.

Made it to that level of marriage where you get in trouble for being able to fall asleep so fast. @simoncholland

Sent my husband nudes and he asked me which mole I was worried about.

Sent my husband nudes and he asked me which mole I was worried about. @lmegordon

Marriage is having separate tubes of toothpaste because your spouse squeezes it wrong.

Marriage is having separate tubes of toothpaste because your spouse squeezes it wrong. @mom_tho

The look in my wife’s eyes when she left for Target makes me think she is going to try and save the economy in one trip.

The look in my wife’s eyes when she left for Target makes me think she is going to try and save the economy in one trip. @simoncholland

My wife hates snakes. But if they sold snakes at Target, we'd probably have a few snakes.

My wife hates snakes. But if they sold snakes at Target, we’d probably have a few snakes. @cheeseboy22

The secret to a lasting marriage is knowing no one else would put up with your bullshit.

The secret to a lasting marriage is knowing no one else would put up with your bullshit. @ixix82

Establish dominance in your household by staring at your husband while you unplug his phone from the charger and plug in your own.

Establish dominance in your household by staring at your husband while you unplug his phone from the charger and plug in your own. @lhlodder

Before marrying someone, listen long and hard to the sounds of their chewing because that's the soundtrack to the rest of your life.

Before marrying someone, listen long and hard to the sounds of their chewing because that’s the soundtrack to the rest of your life. @lizerreal

Marrying someone is easy. Staying married after going to IKEA on a Saturday with an empty stomach, is not.

Marrying someone is easy. Staying married after going to IKEA on a Saturday with an empty stomach, is not. @maryfairybobrry

The key to a happy marriage is understanding each other's love languages. My language is words of affirmation. My wife's is doughnuts.

The key to a happy marriage is understanding each other’s love languages. My language is words of affirmation. My wife’s is doughnuts. @xplodingunicorn

Which one of these tweets about marriage is your favorite? Looking for more laughs? Don’t forget to check out our funny quotes about love. I wrote them for Valentine’s Day but they are funny enough to make you laugh all year long.

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Whether you were recently married or you've been married for many years, we can all use a relatable laugh. These are more funny tweets about marriage.
Whether you were recently married or you've been married for many years, we can all use a relatable laugh. These are more funny tweets about marriage.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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I'm so honored that you've found us! I'm Heather, a Mom of 3 who blogs about parenting, food, occasional travel and how I overcame my daily struggle with anxiety. I miss sleeping and rely on coffee and laughter to get me through the day. I hope you enjoy and visit often!

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  1. I’ve had a good laugh by reading these funny marriage tweets. I’m glad to have discovered this post.

  2. These are very funny tweets about marriage. Some of them are exact in my situation.
    Thanks for sharing! I will show it to my wife.

  3. This just goes to show that if you’re going to be married you have to have a sense of humor. Some of these are pretty funny

  4. Pretty much 100% of these are true lol. Especially the legos. My daughter is the one that leaves hers out around the house and omg they hurt

  5. Squeezing the toothpaste tube wrong is one of my pet peeves and I am glad they have something about that. That shows me I am not the only one.

  6. This article gives me a laugh i can relate so much. The amazon packages was LOL i always told my husband this is for free review sorta just to avoid too many question.

  7. Haha! These tweets are so funny 😄 I will have to share these with my sisters and husband, they’d love these for sure 🙈😂

  8. Love this post and these graphics are so up my alley… as I can relate to so many of them! I love it when I get the bed to myself… or should I say TV to myself LOL 🙂

  9. Those are all wonderful and funny selection of marriage tweets. I had quite the fun reading them.

  10. Hahaha! These are some seriously funny tweets lol!!! I need to share these with some of my married friends.

  11. Seeing the one you love step on a lego is a different type of hurt and concern. I will never understand how stepping on a tiny little thing such as a lego could end up being so painful.

  12. This is hilarious. I’m entertained thank you for sharing the laugh. I’m inspired to other qoutes.

  13. I love these pictures / quotes. It’s so funny! I will send it to my married friends. They will definitely laugh for sure.

  14. This made me laugh as well and I can’t decide which post is fumier, thank you for sharing it and putting a smile on my face

  15. I love these tweets and always make me smile because most speak the honest truth that only married people can appreciate fully.

  16. These are great marriage tweets. The toothpaste one is funny. Never thought to have separate ones.

  17. Thank you for sharing, I totally needed this laugh today. I thought my hubby was the loudest sneezer on the planet LOL!

  18. I think it is funny how universal some jokes and truths about marriage can be. What a strange life we lead!

  19. These are so silly. Thanks for sharing, they gave me a giggle. It reminds me of my aunt and uncle, they really have these kinds of issues at times haha.

  20. OMG, the Lego post is GOLD! You never really know a person until you see their foot attacked by a plastic block of pain and suffering. LOL

  21. These funny tweets are making me laugh! It really made my day. We all need to have a good laugh once in a while.

  22. These are cute and fun quotes about marriage, and this one makes me laugh ” The key to a happy marriage is understanding each other’s love languages. My language is words of affirmation. My wife’s is doughnuts.” hahahah!

  23. What would we do without memes? These were hilarious. I especially love and can relate to the Target ones.

  24. I really love all these. Many of these are so funny. I love that Amazon one haha. I get so many packages all the time because of my job.

  25. These are absolutely hilarious! Love that we can laugh about our marriage and try not to take it too seriously. I think all couples should try and put an IKEA thing together. If you can survive that without killing each other, you’re good. LOL

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  26. These are all hilarious. I totally get the Target one. My husband knows I LOVE Target. He says I’m more excited to go to Target than spend time with him. Which isn’t TRUE. Unless they have a lot of new stuff out 😉

  27. Some really funny tweets there, “No one would put up with your bullshit” that phrase got me laughing out loud.

  28. Ahahaha this made my day! Everything is so funny, but so true. I get so upset when my spouse falls asleep before me it’s the weirdest thing.

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