More Funny Tweets About Marriage

more funny tweets about marriage
Author: Heather
Category: Laughs
Published Date: 03/01/2021
Comments: 67

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You loved our funniest tweets about marriage so much, we had to share some more. All marriages are different but what is the same in every single marriage, is the need for a good laugh. Here are even more funny tweets about marriage to make you laugh and spark up a conversation between you and your spouse, no matter how long you’ve been together.

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I’ve reached the point in my marriage that my husband fell asleep on the couch and OMG I AM SO EXCITED I GET THE BED ALL TO MYSELF.

I’ve reached the point in my marriage that my husband fell asleep on the couch and OMG I AM SO EXCITED I GET THE BED ALL TO MYSELF. @parkerlawyer

Don't marry someone before you see them step on a Lego.

Don’t marry someone before you see them step on a Lego. @theshamingofjay

Fun fact: You will marry the LOUDEST sneezer on the planet. Which doesn’t seem possible since I am already married to that person, but trust me on this.

Fun fact: You will marry the LOUDEST sneezer on the planet. Which doesn’t seem possible since I am already married to that person, but trust me on this. @nottheworstmom

What my husband doesn’t realize that a lot of our arguments could be solved by shoving a cookie in my face.

What my husband doesn’t realize that a lot of our arguments could be solved by shoving a cookie in my face. @mom_tho

When boxes arrive from Amazon I just tell my husband they’re Christmas presents for him and he doesn’t ask questions. I should probably buy him something soon.

When boxes arrive from Amazon I just tell my husband they’re Christmas presents for him and he doesn’t ask questions. I should probably buy him something soon. @sixfootcandy

Made it to that level of marriage where you get in trouble for being able to fall asleep so fast.

Made it to that level of marriage where you get in trouble for being able to fall asleep so fast. @simoncholland

Sent my husband nudes and he asked me which mole I was worried about.

Sent my husband nudes and he asked me which mole I was worried about. @lmegordon

Marriage is having separate tubes of toothpaste because your spouse squeezes it wrong.

Marriage is having separate tubes of toothpaste because your spouse squeezes it wrong. @mom_tho

The look in my wife’s eyes when she left for Target makes me think she is going to try and save the economy in one trip.

The look in my wife’s eyes when she left for Target makes me think she is going to try and save the economy in one trip. @simoncholland

My wife hates snakes. But if they sold snakes at Target, we'd probably have a few snakes.

My wife hates snakes. But if they sold snakes at Target, we’d probably have a few snakes. @cheeseboy22

The secret to a lasting marriage is knowing no one else would put up with your bullshit.

The secret to a lasting marriage is knowing no one else would put up with your bullshit. @ixix82

Establish dominance in your household by staring at your husband while you unplug his phone from the charger and plug in your own.

Establish dominance in your household by staring at your husband while you unplug his phone from the charger and plug in your own. @lhlodder

Before marrying someone, listen long and hard to the sounds of their chewing because that's the soundtrack to the rest of your life.

Before marrying someone, listen long and hard to the sounds of their chewing because that’s the soundtrack to the rest of your life. @lizerreal

Marrying someone is easy. Staying married after going to IKEA on a Saturday with an empty stomach, is not.

Marrying someone is easy. Staying married after going to IKEA on a Saturday with an empty stomach, is not. @maryfairybobrry

The key to a happy marriage is understanding each other's love languages. My language is words of affirmation. My wife's is doughnuts.

The key to a happy marriage is understanding each other’s love languages. My language is words of affirmation. My wife’s is doughnuts. @xplodingunicorn

Which one of these tweets about marriage is your favorite? Looking for more laughs? Don’t forget to check out our funny quotes about love. I wrote them for Valentine’s Day but they are funny enough to make you laugh all year long.

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Whether you were recently married or you've been married for many years, we can all use a relatable laugh. These are more funny tweets about marriage.
Whether you were recently married or you've been married for many years, we can all use a relatable laugh. These are more funny tweets about marriage.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Hello There!

Hi! I’m Heather, Mom of 3, professional snack opener, the only person who knows where everything is in my house and part-time magician (I can turn a bunch of candy into a gift basket and everyone thinks it’s amazing). I share a mix of parenting moments, easy recipes, crafts, and DIY home decor projects.

Around here, we love turning ordinary stuff into extraordinary gifts, from candy box baskets and birthday punch boards to homemade advent calendars and other crafty chaos that somehow always works out.

Welcome to The Super Mom Life — where the projects are fun, the coffee is strong, and the laughter is pretty much required for survival. Don't forget to follow us on social media!

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  • These are absolutely hilarious! Love that we can laugh about our marriage and try not to take it too seriously. I think all couples should try and put an IKEA thing together. If you can survive that without killing each other, you’re good. LOL

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  • These are all hilarious. I totally get the Target one. My husband knows I LOVE Target. He says I’m more excited to go to Target than spend time with him. Which isn’t TRUE. Unless they have a lot of new stuff out 😉

    Reply